I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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