My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
