I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
