you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
