So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Randomize