if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
