Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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