i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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