This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
he laminated a picture of his dick.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Randomize
