i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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