did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
