Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize