i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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