you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Randomize
