I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Randomize
