would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
