we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
