she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
