i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Randomize
