Dual....:-)
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
