Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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