the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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