yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Holy sore nipples Batman
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