Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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