: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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