Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
