You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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