I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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