And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize