the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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