the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
