Don't make out with my wife yet
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize