I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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