My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
