When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
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