she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Randomize
