I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Sext me about skeletons
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
