Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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