biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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