You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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