She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
