I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Randomize
