it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Randomize
