So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
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