I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
