operation harelip BJ is a go
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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