Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
