HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
