just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
