I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
