Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
