So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
