Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
only if we run a train.
done.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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