38 yer olds are good kisserssss
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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