Kiss
Puke
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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