Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
