Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
