Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize