Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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