i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
