I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
