I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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