Non-Jews are for practice
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
