I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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