ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
