Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize