"it" just moved
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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