No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
