I must be too annoying 4 u.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
