I heard we made out
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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