her vagine was all disorganized.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
