i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
