how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
