We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize