If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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