Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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