My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
