The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
