he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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